Stay At Home MOM

I love being home with my Baby. She is ultimately the Light and love of my life. Its incredibly difficult living in the world we do today. I feel pushed to achieve something greater outside of the house.  A degree, a Career, maybe owning a business one day and Who knows be a famous Rockstar.... Okay maybe that ship has sailed but you know what I mean.

So I honestly Sit and I ponder at the age of 25 what do I want to do. Here's the thing I can't find a single thing that would make me happier then hanging out with my little girl All day. I feel as though Julia just is so advanced of course she my child and she is gifted, could anyone be more qualified to raise my child. Umm... NO !! sorry working moms No hate and if you hate being home then they are probably tons better at Daycare. I know from Past daycare experience you just can't give the same attention and have the same attachment to 7-8 toddlers as I do to my 1 child.

Though I will say the general consensus that I must sit around and do nothing all day is rather ANNOYING. I think I'm busier now then I have ever been in any time in my life. That's saying alot I used to go to school full time and worked 60 + hours between 2 jobs. The thing is there eventually you punch a time clock you go home and its over. Its just Never ending with babies even people who work get a hour lunch. I'm eating a meal replacement bar while feeding someone else applesauce. Washing cloth diapers, while folding a load of towel and entertaining someone else. Who would have known you could vacuum while wearing another human being.

of course I will admit being a stay at home mom is quite probably is a job that can be as difficult or as simple as you want to make it. Too all the moms who come up with enriching activities ...I salute you.  who will comfort there crying child... I salute you, Who reads to there babies, teach there babies, and do more then park them in front of the the TV... I salute you!!

I'm defiantly a eco momma I think you have to be a type A person to accomplish cloth diapering, baby food making, green cleaner crazy person. For anyone to call me lazy well that's just crazy. Sure I could go out and I could put all my many talents to use but why would I. I'm happy being who I am :)

Moving to the crib

So many things have changed since becoming pregnant and having a child. Besides the fact that I had a cross country move, a new job arrangement and my incredible life adjustment. My attitude towards parenting has changed and I can only imagine will continue to evolve with both age and time.

When I was pregnant I prepared a lovely room down the hall with pink walls adorable pictures a comfortable chair and all the knick knacks a baby could desire. I received countless compliments on the room and I was soo proud down to the color pink stork. Took me forever to pick it out just enough pink let me tell you.

I could never imagine Co-sleeping the mere though sending my brain into frenzy the risk of SIDS, the confusion of getting them to ever go in a crib , and the lack of intimacy between you and your partner why would anyone sleep with there child. I got my answer, a child who down right REFUSED to go to sleep alone. People who have children who will sleep will tell you this is impossible. That you are doing it wrong and you will exhaust countless methods of soothing to help your child sleep. You will even eat a diet of bread and water just to make sure your not causing some wicked form of acid reflux by what you are eating. Yet nothing works you just left there in some exhaustedZombie daze and between the rock and a hard place you break you see that sleeping child in your arm and say I'm going to sleep too yet this time instead of waking the baby to place it down in the big ole crib you pull back the covers and curl up with your tiny tot instead.

Everyone tells you this is wrong, you shouldn't do it probably because some white trash somewhere decided to sleep with there child while they were on drugs or had been on quite the bender. Something I believe that no co sleeping parent should EVER DO!!!  really truly no parent should my opinion but thats just me.

As time has moved forward and I have gained confidence in my child and maybe she has gained confidence in herself. We decided its time to try the crib out again. she has woken up twice and I have loved and cuddled her back to sleep. She is not a cross the room in a pink nursery she is in my line of sight past the foot of my bed. which just now seems like miles away.  In the long run this is better and I realize I've given her the tools she needs to sleep on her own. I will be here to reassure her I'm always here if she needs me. However after sleeping with her for 6 months its just amazing how much I need her not that I miss having my hair pulled I will say I miss my little cuddle bug. I know this is just 1 step down a long road to her growing up

Stretch Marks, They Do heal ....

After I got done being pregnant There I was Cut My belly looked like a deflated beach ball and it was not cute I didn't even take a picture. I'm sorry so I can't share how pitiful it looked in the beginning. BUT IT WAS BAD !!! I looked all over the internet and I would see other peoples pictures of there after belly but it was never Recent or near giving birth it was always MONTH MONTH MONTHS later sometimes Years. How was I even to know how "Bad" it was because in my mind it could not be worse then MINE!!! I Felt soo bad I mean I was super happy I had a beautiful baby girl, but would this ever Heal. of course people would always tell me that eventually with TIME!! they would fade well what kinda calendar are we looking at dare I ask. So 10 weeks after giving birth it still didn't look pretty it looked better it had at least gone into where it needed to go the gooey feeling was still there 

this is a 10 week postpartum Shot and a 6 month after giving birth if this gives you any help. these were taken with different cameras but they have faded to either a while or a soft pink not the purple and red OMG and BTW MY naval is pierced and it did get stretched and no I didn't know that could Happen  I'm hoping I can post a more amazing in shape crazy pic for her first birthday. You know the pool party I'm planning I'm hoping to be wearing a good swimsuit.

BTW totally posting this trying to make someone feel better. You dont know me and you can't judge me I'm proud of my body I'm amazed that I can create another human being. It's the most amazing gift my body could give me. If your here to be a TOTAL PAIN and say your body didn't look like that after you gave birth .....WELL Good for you but thats not a reality for everybody and I have found that stretchmarks are genetic my mother had them and her mother I used bio oil and tried everything to prevent them nothing worked . but I am using MEDERMA and vitamin E oil for my c section scar which is now TOTALLY not noticeable :)  Oh I have also tried that coffee grounds and Olive oil I will tell how that goes 

By the way I'm a total poster child for why not to get a tattoo on your belly Happy I didn't have one and by the way if you would like to send money for future plastic surgery I will not decline :) LOL