Wednesday, August 29, 2012
3rd times a Charm
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
1 Month Fun stuff Photo Blog
Its Official I have become a Lazy Photo Blogger but when do people get time to Blog with babies !!!
I mean lets be serious But I don't want anyone thinking I gave up writting I have just Busy with Baby girl. I'm no professional Photographer but I took these with a Nikon l110 and I photo edited with picmonkey. I feel as though I do a pretty Decent job considering. What do you think of our photography? comments of the subject are welcome too? she is like perfect RIGHT
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Growing a Baby :)
From 12 weeks to Delivery This is my BELLY and Might I say I miss pre pregnancy Me I 'll never take that for granted again and in just a week and a few days i'm cleared to work out :)
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Emergency C section Blues
I had a Emergency C-section. After months of planning, reading the books and being slightly depressed about doing a hospital birth even though I would have preferred a at home water birth. I ended up with a Emergency C-section. I was dialated 3 cm 80 effaced she was in a -1 station head down and I got a Emergency C- section. I'm sad and I can't figure out why I'm soo sad about it.
I'm an adult and I should be able to look at the facts. Facts are I needed a c-section it was not some unnecessary evil operation that Happened because of corporate greed like I had read in the books. My child had a pro-lapsed cord and was in serious medical distress. She would have never survived a vaginal birth. My child is Perfect in every way she is amazing just a easy to love baby that just wants to be held and cuddled.
Everyday I can stay awake and take pictures and talk to my husband, but every night when I'm alone and baby girl sleeps quietly in her bassinet beside my bed I just cry. I wanted to see her after I gave birth. I'm jealous of my husband for being able to stand up and see behind the curtain and that he got to hold her first. I'm sad he didn't get to cut the cord and that instead of big cheers after her birth I hear the talking of dr. about her pro-lapsed cord. I hated not being able to hold her for her first breastfeeding and having to be helped even though it really did help and we can breastfeed thank god. I feel like I ran the worlds biggest 9 month marathon of emotions and sickness and other horrible symptoms and I finally saw the finish line and it was like someone just disqualified me from the race almost as if I wasn't good enough to compete.
I'm not stupid and I know no one blames me but I almost blame myself Maybe it was the induction that caused it. My husband says she was already showing little dips in her heart beat with the first set of contractions. The fact that we had many false alarms and one time we sat there for 30 mins while they did a ultra sound on Jewel. Did she know all along that something was a miss and never told me and if something was a miss then Why wouldn't you tell me. My assumption is I guess with no definitive view of the cord no one would have ever told me. However I did read that the rupturing of the amniotic sack could cause it however I couldn't imagine that she was low fluid anyway.
Though even When I can come to grips with the idea that I had a emergency c-section. That is was Entirely necessary that Jewel is perfect and maybe I did nothing to cause it. I get sad 1 more time for the future, will I always have c-sections will I never get to finish the race. I know I will never have a home birth I was planning on doing that after Having a dry run at the hospital. I only get one more chance to try and labor and if something were to go wrong I will be disqualified for life and for everything to go soo smoothly with baby girl for so long and then to go arry all the way at the end well thats scary cause pretty much until I push out my next child the fear of a emergency c- section will always Loom in the back of my mind.
I dont even know if I'm having post partum or just typical baby blues or even if m reasoning is just I 'm only a week out from my c-section and Jewel is perfect soo eventually we will get there and I will feel better. I just nknow it but just figured I would share my thoughts
I'm an adult and I should be able to look at the facts. Facts are I needed a c-section it was not some unnecessary evil operation that Happened because of corporate greed like I had read in the books. My child had a pro-lapsed cord and was in serious medical distress. She would have never survived a vaginal birth. My child is Perfect in every way she is amazing just a easy to love baby that just wants to be held and cuddled.
Everyday I can stay awake and take pictures and talk to my husband, but every night when I'm alone and baby girl sleeps quietly in her bassinet beside my bed I just cry. I wanted to see her after I gave birth. I'm jealous of my husband for being able to stand up and see behind the curtain and that he got to hold her first. I'm sad he didn't get to cut the cord and that instead of big cheers after her birth I hear the talking of dr. about her pro-lapsed cord. I hated not being able to hold her for her first breastfeeding and having to be helped even though it really did help and we can breastfeed thank god. I feel like I ran the worlds biggest 9 month marathon of emotions and sickness and other horrible symptoms and I finally saw the finish line and it was like someone just disqualified me from the race almost as if I wasn't good enough to compete.
I'm not stupid and I know no one blames me but I almost blame myself Maybe it was the induction that caused it. My husband says she was already showing little dips in her heart beat with the first set of contractions. The fact that we had many false alarms and one time we sat there for 30 mins while they did a ultra sound on Jewel. Did she know all along that something was a miss and never told me and if something was a miss then Why wouldn't you tell me. My assumption is I guess with no definitive view of the cord no one would have ever told me. However I did read that the rupturing of the amniotic sack could cause it however I couldn't imagine that she was low fluid anyway.
Though even When I can come to grips with the idea that I had a emergency c-section. That is was Entirely necessary that Jewel is perfect and maybe I did nothing to cause it. I get sad 1 more time for the future, will I always have c-sections will I never get to finish the race. I know I will never have a home birth I was planning on doing that after Having a dry run at the hospital. I only get one more chance to try and labor and if something were to go wrong I will be disqualified for life and for everything to go soo smoothly with baby girl for so long and then to go arry all the way at the end well thats scary cause pretty much until I push out my next child the fear of a emergency c- section will always Loom in the back of my mind.
I dont even know if I'm having post partum or just typical baby blues or even if m reasoning is just I 'm only a week out from my c-section and Jewel is perfect soo eventually we will get there and I will feel better. I just nknow it but just figured I would share my thoughts
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Giving Birth or (God laugh's at Birth Plan) LOL : P
Well it finally came and went my DUE DATE!!! July 14 2012 no Julia with all the signs and symptoms of early labor there and still no baby I was anything if not PISSED!!! annoyed and slightly perterbed. Watching baby story pissed me off just cause those people got to have babies and here I was swollen and HUGE and NO BABY!!! sooo the doctors appointment on the previous day Dr. Belazi Told me I could get induced on Tuesday the 17th
Okay that weekend dragged on like a bad date with a akward exchange student!! my friends came in from out of town along with my in laws we went for a Long Walk and everything to induce Labor and make her come. by Monday night I had accepted the fate of my induction and moved on. I was excited I would have my little girl soon enough. :) so I cuddled my husband watched some movies took a Long bath and just enjoyed my last few hours of being Childless. Now I was told to call into the hospital at 6 am to check for another room WOOT a room to get labor started !!! yay me I called and would you believe they were busy. face palm!!! they told me to call back at NOON but in the end they ended up calling me around 10 am and said there was room at the inn. Oh the excitement my number has been called and in hours I would join in the ranks of mommy hood and my little girl would be here!!!
We were on the way to are hospital Virtua Memorial Hospital. My bestie Tish and my husband at my side I was ready. Had a pep talk with my mom I was ready. We went to are room I even had the room with a tub!!! Soo excited for my natural BIRTH lets get the ball rolling kids
Friday, July 13, 2012
Happy Due date Jewel
Happy Due Date baby Girl, I doubt you know it or have any idea but today is your Due date. It would be wonderful to see your little face today. Everyday that goes by without me seeing you is just torture. You are Kicking or hiccuping and seem to be having a wonderful time in my belly. I promise you can keep doing those things and more if you would just come out >.< I need to clean house Jamie and Tanner are going to be here soon along with my in-laws but now that your head as moved into -2 station let me tell you the uncomfrotableness of walking is just OW ow Ow OW oW and while your father is helpful with some things keeping house and being tidy is not his strong suit Ohwell.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)